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november 2002


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~ 12/31/02
2002 ends

last morning of the year

dear fred-
elia, veronica and i went to see 'gangs of new york' last night. it's
absolutely incredible. so timely and direct. we stayed for the beginning
because we missed it first time, thanks to goth boy ryan, who has a great big black 1969 cadillac hearse for hire (perfect for, say, picking up twiggy from the airport!) after, we noticed the $3 an hour internet cafe/open 24 hours on coffee...pretty good.
also, ran into gary who handed me a map of the beatnik. then, at the post
office, we received, from the drakes, the map to fred's star in the sky. a cosmic co-incidence of maps to the future, i think.
as adriene and fred discovered at hobe chobe, sometimes all you need to do is ask for a sign.

the cafe scares me a little. am i up for managing a cafe if you're away? i know i can oversee, but balancing and ordering and all sounds
daunting...still, the energy is there for us to harness, i think.
tonight we'll be there for a while on our way to marco and doug and
merediths, with the new desert latin peace army in tow.
we'll salute you, down by the tree, and look forward to your return.
elia, veronica and i watched adriene's edit of fred's memorial. had to do it before the year ended. we all cried, especially when jo spoke. you were so together, i was an utter and complete wreck. adriene did a nice job of keeping in the best of joanne's talk and laying images over the sounds, or vice versa. it's beautiful.
all love to you and matthew.

ah yes, melancholia.  the holiday in betweens. it's like post-performance
blues. this year seemed like it would never end because time itself seemed to stop. i can't remember the summer. last night, i played the ten songs i wrote this year. they have a common theme. they were all written very much before or very much after. so, two sets of songs. also, i played two of fred's songs especially close to me, 'angel,' and 'please/my brother's dying' (as a medley like we used to do in ministry of fools). later, ruben, who sings and plays and writes better songs than ever and joe - sans accordion, sadly - took us on rosa's journey to canaan cross the jordan. joe sang one ruben wrote for him about new mexico, 'you can't go home again.' his guitar playing was sublime.  then joe, ruben and i joined forces and headed for 'mecca' and 'orphange of souls.'  elia and sue joined for 'don't let nothing shoot you
down,' 'momma,' and 'fools day sutra.' it was a very full evening and a nice way to end the year.  had you been cloned in time, we would have loved to have seen your face.
the rancho is racing toward the new year with mark lanegan saying things
like, 'i'm not a millionaire but if you guys ever need would kill me to see this place ever close.' and 'from the minute i walked in here, after the last six months, i felt more at home here than i do at my own house.'
there won't be a break in the music as shawn mafia - with kevin, our sweat lodge friend jason's brother, on guitar - comes in on the first, moroccan on the fourth, with tony. chris producing pete from lo-5 on the seventh. then, brant working with molly and dave. jules coming back to do more acoustic songs with billy. all repeat clients from the first four months of re-operation.
also, that new, interesting and wonderful people are moving to the desert, including the cubans, dennis y carlito, who are now land owners in joshua tree, california, united states of america.
so even with a slight  post-partum feeling as we let go of one year full of somany major changes and embark on a mysterious new one, i feel like some degree of faith in the process is merited.
from the ashes,

09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009

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